4 min read
OCD can feel impossible to explain to people who haven’t experienced it. Find those words here:
- What OCD can actually feel like
- The isolation that often comes with it
- Coping tools that helped
- Learning to ask for support
- One reminder that changed everything
Counting my steps is a habit that has followed me since I can remember. Walking through a department store, I would count how many steps I could take per tile. On the sidewalk, I paced myself meticulously so as not to walk unevenly. The old maxim, “step on a crack¨ made me look at my mother with fragility, like she could break at any moment. In the real world, a ¨mistake¨ here is entirely inconsequential. To me, even at eight years old, it felt lethal.
This type of anxiety learned to simmer on the back burner of my brain for years, being ignited by any kind of disorder in my life. As we grow through challenges, we all develop coping mechanisms for the myriad stressors that define our human nature. For me, although my OCD provided plenty of discomfort, it also kept me organized and educationally ambitious. Awards, honors, and grades became new obsessions that felt far more satisfying than any of my compulsive behaviors. Because of this, school was always incredibly easy for me; my motivation led to opportunity, and the success I experienced reinforced my sense of accomplishment. My big-fish, little-pond syndrome didn’t last through the stresses of high school. The thing most important to me in any of my obsessions was always control; as school became more challenging and more consequential to my future, my sense of agency began to slip.
I´m extremely fortunate to have access to these resources, but there are ways to cope with OCD as a student, no matter your situation.
- Trying new things, even when they feel triggering
- Being vulnerable with trusted teachers or friends
- Speaking with teachers about accommodations if you feel triggered in the classroom
- Journaling with honesty
- Prioritizing health and sleep!
- Challenging compulsions when they arise
By coping with my OCD, I can be organized, I can be successful, I can be empathetic and present, AND I can prioritize my mental health. It has made all the difference.
