Almost a year ago, I wrote a piece called “20 lessons from the psychiatric unit.”

These lessons were about happiness, connection, kindness, and healing, all found in the most unexpected place. That piece was about surviving during a very
difficult time. This piece is about what has come after: an entire year full of building a life that I am very proud of, and, more importantly, a life that is completely mine.

Many recovery stories are about being fixed, and “making it to the other side.” This isn’t one of those. Rather, this is a story about what it looks like to truly keep going, one ordinary week at a time.

I hope that this piece brings some comfort in the fact that there sometimes really is nowhere to go but up.

GROWTH: You know you’re growing when…
Lesson One: You take an ordinary summer job running check in, snack time, lunch, recess, and data entry at a local museum. You show up for something ordinary and do it well, full-time, day in and day out.
Lesson Two: You get into your paralegal coursework not because you’re running away from mental health advocacy, but because you are building towards
advocating for mental health parity through the law.
Lesson Three: You realize that the little chores that used to feel insurmountable, such as brushing your teeth and doing laundry, are things that you now have tools for getting through. They don’t always come easy, but you’re always able to do them.
Lesson Four: You catch yourself minimizing an accomplishment out of habit, and for the first time, you stop and let it count.
Lesson Five: You look back at the person you were a year ago and realize she wasn’t someone else. She was you, on the way to becoming this new version of
you.

PURPOSE: You know you’ve found purpose when…
Lesson Six:  You’re selected out of 800+ proposals to speak at NAMICon, and you get on that stage (barely, you had an anxiety attack beforehand) and tell a room full of strangers that there’s hope. An audience member with bipolar II comes up to you after and you feel whole.
Lesson Seven: You’re voted onto a NAMI board of directors at age 24, and it’s a huge honor. You realize the seat is a big deal, as it comes with real responsibility.
Lesson Eight: You hit your 550th NAMI support group, and realize that you’ve been attending them steadily since 2022. There’s something to be said for the power of participation.
Lesson Nine: You write a newsletter for NAMI Next Gen and it feels like you were meant to do this work. You know that mental health advocacy is not only a mission for NAMI, but a mission for you.
Lesson Ten: Ms. Nicole Lucas, Director of Programs at your local NAMI affiliate, hands you a certificate of appreciation for your dedication to supporting those with mental illness. You bring it home and your mom frames it and puts it on the mantle.

CONNECTION: You know you’ve found connection when…
Lesson Eleven: Your best friend is still in your life, years later, and the relationship has made it through this, and you are certain that it has years to evolve. Sometimes steady means more than anything else.
Lesson Twelve: You paint pottery with another friend who is home for the summer. You talk about her moving back home to Maryland when she’s done
with college. You realize the future is wide open.
Lesson Thirteen: You join a local walking group and form new connections in your hometown there. You make a vision board and for the first time, it doesn’t feel cliche.
Lesson Fourteen: You can talk to your mom about the little things, such as what you’re looking forward to doing at the beach this year, and every conversation isn’t focused on your recovery.
Lesson Fifteen: You call your aunt and uncle at the end of almost every day and the wind-down ritual feels like a gift, rather than the only thing anchoring you to the world. You realize that you’ve changed more than them, and that’s okay.

HEALING: You know you’re healing for real when…
Lesson Sixteen: You present at the NAMI MC MD annual meeting, and are able to talk about your bipolar II journey–including the lows–not with detachment, but acceptance.
Lesson Seventeen: You write a testimonial for suicide prevention month with NAMI MC MD. Claire, a full-time staff member, includes the word fantastic with three exclamation points when she writes back thanking you.
Lesson Eighteen: You earn your NAMI Peer to Peer facilitation certificate, and realize that you are now in the position to be giving back and leading the class you took twice.
Lesson Nineteen: You stop looking for the other shoe to drop, and start enjoying the present moment.
Lesson Twenty: You truly believe with firm conviction that the person who wrote “20 Lessons from the Psychiatric Unit” a year ago and the person writing “20 Lessons from this Year” is still becoming–and that the process of becoming is a beautiful one in and of itself.

A year ago, I said that healing isn’t a destination, but a journey. I stand by those words. But I have also learned that the journey isn’t only marked by getting
through those hard days. It’s also marked by all of the ordinary good days–the random Tuesdays where nothing extraordinary happens, the work shifts that end with a kid thanking me for playing with them, the small, ordinary joys of life that are joyful precisely because they are ordinary.

If you’re reading this on the other side of your own hospital stay, wondering if a year out could look like this, I hope I’ve brought you some comfort in knowing that it can.