Growing up queer is a journey that can often begin with an internal battle. A struggle to understand oneself in a world that seems to have already made up its mind about who you should be. From a young age, we’re surrounded by societal norms that dictate how we should act, dress, and love. For many of us, these norms feel alien. I didn’t have queer role models in movies or TV shows to look up to. The few that existed were often reduced to stereotypes, offering little in representation.
The next chapter in this journey is often the coming out phase. It’s a time fraught with its challenges. Coming out is more than just a declaration of identity; it’s a leap into the unknown. Many families turn their backs on their children, casting them out into a world that can be cold and unforgiving. According to The Trevor Project, 28% of LGBTQ youth reported experiencing homelessness or housing instability at some point in their lives. 16% of LGBTQ youth reported running away from home – over half citing mistreatment or fear due to their queer identity – while 14% reported being kicked out or abandoned, with 40% attributing this to their queer identity. The lack of acceptance from those who are supposed to love us unconditionally is devastating. This leaves many queer youth without financial support, shelter, and a sense of security.
As many navigate this new reality, there are the unrealistic beauty standards that pervade the queer community itself. It’s a painful irony that a community born out of the need for acceptance can sometimes be so exclusive. If you don’t have the perfect six-pack or chiseled face, you’re often deemed unworthy. For trans individuals, the pressure is even greater. Society often demands that they undergo expensive surgeries to “pass” as their true selves. These surgeries are a privilege. It is accessible largely to those with the financial means, leaving many with gender dysphoria.
Bullying, too, is a constant companion for many of us. Whether it’s in school, social media, or society at large, self- expression often comes with a heavy price. The impact of this on queer mental health is profound: LGBTQ youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide compared to their peers, as highlighted by the systematic review and meta-analysis by Giacomo et. al..The toll this takes on LGBTQ youth is immeasurable, leading to isolation and hopelessness.
The dating world is a minefield of rejection and judgement. Bottom shaming, bi-erasure, the complexities of monogamy, etc. add to the difficulties. These issues aren’t just about relationships; they’re about self-worth and identity. Despite these challenges, we yearn for someone who sees us for who we truly are without the demand to change oneself to fit expectations.
Systemic challenges add to the personal struggles. Legal protections against rape, bullying, and discrimination are often inadequate or non-existent. Marriages, identities, and the right to start a family are not recognized in many parts of the world. Even when we try to build a home, we are met with housing discrimination, denied the right to rent or buy because of who we are or who we love.
In spite of all of this, we continue to rise. We continue to smile, to spread kindness, to show bravery in the face of adversity. Each of us carries within us a quiet strength. A determination to be true to ourselves no matter the cost. This strength is catalysed by the support of allies who create safe spaces for acceptance and love. Whether it’s advocating for policy changes, offering words of affirmation, or simply listening without judgment, allies play an integral role in our journey. It is in this shared commitment that we dream of a world filled with mutual respect and admiration.
So, to those who read this, I ask you to reflect on the journey that so many queer individuals undertake. And in a world that so often tries to tear us down, the greatest act of courage is resilience: the strength to show up as ourselves while extending humanity and love to one another.
Be kind. Be human. Spread love.