As the daughter of two moms, Pride has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are of standing on tiptoes at crowded Pride events with music booming around me. Back then, I didn’t fully understand the significance of what we were celebrating; I just knew it felt like joy. As I got older, I began to understand how rare and meaningful that kind of open celebration can be, especially for those who do not ordinarily have access to spaces where they feel seen, safe, and fully accepted.
The beginning of June marks both the arrival of Pride Month and the end of the academic year, a time when many LGBTQ+ college students return to homes that may not affirm or accept their identities. While on campus, LGBTQ+ students oftentimes form “chosen families,” or kinship networks created outside of biological or legal ties. A recent study on queer and gender-expansive young adults revealed that chosen families frequently “lean on each other” for emotional support during periods of stress, including times of grief and identity-related mental health challenges.
Chase, a young adult featured in the study, articulated the importance of this support: “I think that I don’t lean on my [biological] family very much for emotional support and part of that is with my chosen family, I don’t need to go through all the explaining of queerness, transness… That is exhausting to try to define, right?”
Beyond emotional support, chosen families mutually provide each other with practical support: offering financial help, advice on obtaining employment, and transportation to and from LGBTQ+ events. This kind of support is incredibly valuable during college, when many of us, myself included, are learning to navigate life more independently.
For many students, simultaneously losing access to this affirming network and returning to a non-affirming home can be emotionally destabilizing. In fact, a study published in Pediatrics links unsupportive environments to increased depressive symptoms among LGBTQ+ teens and young adults. In contrast, LGBTQ+ young people who are in supportive settings report greater subjective happiness. For students returning to unsupportive households, celebrating Pride Month, even in a private way, can offer a powerful sense of identity affirmation and connection, helping to preserve self-esteem and overall quality of life in otherwise isolating environments.
But how can one safely celebrate in an environment that is not supportive? After speaking with Feebeye, a young drag queen and powerhouse digital creator I met through Instagram, and reviewing the literature online, I’ve compiled several science-backed ways to celebrate this Pride Month when being visibly ‘out’ is not an option.
Find Connection Through Online LGBTQ+ Communities
Born This Way Foundation and Hopelab’s report, Without It, I Wouldn’t Be Here Today, found that young people are far more likely to encounter support for their LGBTQ+ identities online than in-person; 56% of surveyed young people reported feeling “very supported” in online spaces, as opposed to a mere 13% in face-to-face spaces.
Online spaces, in particular, offer LGBTQ+ young people opportunities to find an uplifting community. As a teenager, Feebeye turned to LGBTQ+ spaces on social media platforms to cope with the isolation and lack of acceptance she faced in her rural United Kingdom-based hometown. Feebeye had not yet come out to her parents, and her “friends at the time unfortunately were not supportive and believed [she] needed to ‘prove’ [her] gayness.” After avidly watching beauty YouTubers since 2016, she began experimenting with drag makeup and sharing her looks on Instagram. Through this, she found the kind and supportive queer community she so intensely craved:
“Being a drag queen has definitely helped me build more connections within the community. Doing drag is basically like walking around with a huge flashing neon sign above your head that says ‘hi gay people,’ moths to a light bulb, like gay people to a drag queen…Through my drag persona, I found my queer community online with people across the UK and worldwide.”
Get Creative
Engaging in creative activities has been proven to relieve symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) among young adults with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), including those raised in unsupportive environments. Creativity can also prompt self-reflection for identity development.
Bergman, identity columnist for VICE, suggests planting a “Pride Garden,” a space filled with flowers historically tied to LGBTQ+ identity, as a calming and affirming creative outlet. Some blooms to consider include:
Consume LGBTQ+ Media, Old and New
Young people report that positive representation in LGBTQ+ media enables coping with daily stressors through escapism and motivates them to “keep trying.” Finding positive coping mechanisms is essential for LGBTQ+ young people, who are statistically more likely to cope with hardships through risky health behaviors, such as illegal drug abuse.
Thus, even in unsupportive environments, celebrating Pride can be an act of quiet resistance and self-affirmation. Whether through virtual community, creativity, or media that reflects your truth, Pride can be yours wherever you are. If you are a family member of an LGBTQ+ young person and want to give them the gift of affirmation and support this Pride Month, we encourage you to check out our resource guide for families here.
