At the start of 2024, I was diagnosed with a form of heart failure. Now, I’m no stranger to medical challenges – having spent nine years in and out of hospital due to cancer and its side effects – but learning this was a big blow. It meant a new lifestyle, new medication, and a new worry about what this could mean.

I have experienced severe and ongoing medical trauma since the age of 3 ½. I endured hundreds of surgeries, treatments, tests, and more. As a result, I have chronic health conditions, use a wheelchair full-time, and have c-PTSD. Having this additional diagnosis made the start of the year seem dark and heavy.

A few months later, I attended an aerial show my sister was a part of. While there, I met a friend, Mitchell, whom I knew through the online pet community. He recognised me when he saw my service dog, Wren. It was exciting to finally meet him, and he introduced me to his friend, Amy.

I spoke with Amy for a while, until she gestured toward the swaying hoops and flowing silks, and asked, “Do you do anything like this?” To which I responded with a big ‘no,’ and she said something that stuck with me: “Well, why not?”These three words swirled around my mind for a few days. A complete stranger asked me, a wheelchair user who had obvious physical challenges, if I did any kind of dance or performance art. There was no judgement, no pity, just curiosity.

So, I began researching all I could about wheelchair users and other people with disabilities who performed and danced. And I was awestruck. I especially fell in love with the performances of parapole athletes and artists – a whole subcategory of pole dance for those with disabilities.

I messaged Amy – who happened to be a pole dance instructor and an incredible performer herself – and asked if she knew of anyone willing to take me on as a student. She promptly got back to me and said she would be happy to learn alongside me to explore what was possible and how we could adapt movements and see what happens. So, I booked a class with her as soon as I could.

Going into that first lesson, I was so nervous. I’d not done anything like this before, and I’d not had many great experiences with physical activities. School P.E. was not accessible, and many physios I’ve worked with had said there wasn’t much they could do with me. However, I went to that class. I survived it.

And I absolutely fell in love.

I’ve been doing pole for over a year now, and I can honestly say it’s been a life-changing experience. Not only have I met some lovely humans, but I feel better in myself, both mentally and physically. I’ve always struggled with my body image, disordered eating habits, self-destructive behaviours, and more. I’ve also had severe anxiety and c-PTSD symptoms as a result of all my medical traumas. However, since starting pole, these thoughts have lessened, they’ve become quieter, and I feel happier. I no longer want to punish my body. I still have my bad days, but they’re not as bad or as frequent as before.

Pole has also allowed me to feel more confident in myself, to feel empowered, to feel more at home in my body. After so long of having no control over what happened to my body, I feel like I finally have that. On top of all that, I feel physically stronger, and that’s so exciting for me.

I’m so grateful to have started this journey. I’m grateful to have met some beautiful humans – pole athletes, artists, those who work in the clubs, those who compete, and those who go for the fun of it – and I’m especially grateful to my instructor.

Amy has been incredible. Getting to work with her and learn from her has been awesome. I’m pushed to grow, and always have the ability to say, ‘let’s not try that today.’ Each session is filled with fun, laughter, and kindness.

While I’m still very much at the start of my pole journey, I’m grateful for all the progress I’ve already made. And none of this would have ever happened had it not been for that one moment of kindness.

I’ve learned, and continue to learn, so much about pole, about performing, and about myself. All because of one kind comment. One moment of someone treating me with kindness. And one person who believes in me. To her, I am endlessly thankful.