Content Warning: This story contains mentions of suicidal ideation. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.
The world is bright and full of color, yet I felt like I was living in black and white.
March 24, 2019, is a day I will never forget. It was the day I was admitted into a psych ward, a place that felt as hopeless and isolated as I did. The room I was admitted into had two beds, plain beige walls, small windows with thick glass, and a bathroom with just a shower curtain instead of a door. At a time when I needed color, compassion, understanding, encouragement, and hope, I was stuck in an environment that felt dark, cold, and colorless.
Wanting to end my life is the most terrifying thing I have ever felt, and being in a psych ward after trying to end my life three times is the loneliest that I have ever felt. Back then, my mind spent a lot of time echoing The world is better without you. And over time, my only cohesive thought was, I don’t want to be here anymore.
At that time, I needed someone to tell me I wasn’t alone, that I mattered, and that my life made a difference. I needed to know that someone would love me even in my darkest days.
A year had passed since I was discharged from the psych ward, and my mind was still trying to find ways to hold on and survive the day. I started coloring cards for myself with encouraging messages to give myself a reason to keep going and distract my brain from itself. One day, I had 100 cards in front of me filled with different messages and thought to myself how much I needed these messages a year earlier. I packed the cards in a mailing envelope, wrote a note saying who I was and what these cards were, and mailed them to the psych ward where I was hospitalized. I wanted to share hope with people who were in the same place I was in a year and a half earlier. And, just like that, the Encouragement Card Program was born as an initiative of Inspiring My Generation Corporation, a 501©3 on a mission of suicide prevention through awareness, conversation, empowerment, and support.
When I started this program, I was 21 years old, sitting alone at a table in my college apartment, coloring encouraging messages for myself to keep busy. Today, with the help of volunteers from around the world, we have donated 18,000 handmade encouragement cards to patients hospitalized in psych wards with monthly recurring donations among facilities in Florida and Michigan (AND we are constantly growing!!).
Looking back, as someone who has been there, in a psych ward, post-suicide attempt, feeling utterly hopeless and alone, struggling to find just one reason to keep going, one message of hope would have made a huge impact on my journey post-psych ward. When I was discharged from the psych ward, I was thrown right back into the world where time had not stood still, only I had. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and even more isolated as my mind questioned, What if people find out? If I had received a card from a stranger, someone from the outside letting me know that I am not alone and it gets better, the months following would have been a lot less frightening and isolating.
Have you ever felt like giving up? In 2019, I felt that way and tried to end my life three times. After a week in the psych ward, I knew I needed hope and help to keep going. So, I decided to make that possible for others by creating an encouragement card program. And now, I need a favor from all of you. Take five minutes out of your day to make one card to donate to Inspiring My Generation. If 100 people each make one card, that’s 100 more lives that could be helped or even saved.
Help us continue to grow and expand the Encouragement Card Program by volunteering – get a group of friends or loved ones together, check in with each other, and make cards with the messages you want to share with someone else struggling!
One piece of paper with a kind message can make a big difference. Together, we can save lives, one card at a time.