A How-to Letter on How to Navigate My Brain, Signed Future Me

October 09, 2024

Emily Flores (she/her), a 21-year-old disabled advocate and Mexican American, founded Cripple Media, the first media company run by and for young disabled people. Cripple Media aims to reshape perceptions of disability by creating impactful and inclusive content, destigmatizing mental health, and empowering young disabled people to control their narratives. Additionally, Flores has collaborated with several Fortune 500 companies to continue her work in reshaping disability narratives. She also recently starred in the Disney+ docu-series “Growing Up,” where she shared her life story and the story of Cripple Media.

This story took place in United States

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For a long time, my life seemed to be characterized by exciting daydreams in my room and random spurts of energy that seemed to carry me through the long, pitch-black hours of the night, my eyes peeled and typing on my computer. Most nights in middle school and high school, I daydreamed in vivid colors and moved my hands in synchrony with my hurried breaths and the music. 

When I stimmed like this, I often thought about a random onlooker peeking into my room and seeing what I was doing. What do you think they would’ve thought? Like, what in the world is she doing? If anyone looked into my room, they would have no idea what utter fun I was having. 

Then, shortly after, I would find some unorthodox new hobby to channel all the vivid things occurring in my brain. Whether it was to splatter some paint onto paper, learn to doodle from moms on YouTube, or have the itch to learn how to design websites and code, I just knew it had to be so wildly different and novel than the last. 

And it was pretty fun…this was something that I had done almost every school night. But, there were also times in my life that I could not make sense of. Like as much as I tried, I arrived everywhere late or too early. It always confused me how time was something I could not visually conceptualize or understand. I also didn’t understand how, in the middle of conversations, I would always forget what I was talking about or understand why when I would go out for errands, I’d come back home, and the whole day was over already. 

Time felt like watery slime made by some sniffly kids who used too much borax; always seeping through my fingers. 

About two years ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. ADHD is known as a learning disability, which affects people’s attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. According to Forbes Health, it is reported that nearly 9 million adults in the United States alone are diagnosed with ADHD. 

It seems a little unrealistic that I passed elementary, middle, and high school without being diagnosed with ADHD. However, after further research and talks with my therapist, it unfortunately seems perfectly on par with the state of diagnosis of neurodivergence in women. Girls are reportedly diagnosed with ADHD at just under half the rate at which boys are diagnosed, according to a 2022 research study. And this rate, unfortunately, does not take into account multiple disabled women, which I’d bet would be at an even lower rate. 

Being a physically disabled child, I was not the typical classic case of ADHD. However, when I did receive my diagnosis, it was almost a sobering realization that brought me a lot of grief and closure all at the same time. It felt like an emotional realization. I realized I was about to embark on a life-long journey in learning about this newfound disability and learning how to love my brain; learning how to unpack the years of damaged self-esteem due to the years of having no diagnosis. 

This year was especially difficult. This past December, I graduated from college. I started to open a whole new chapter in my life post-graduation, waking up every day with no external pressures or routines. Also, being remote as I continued to work on my startup company, Cripple Media, and also working on graduate school applications was a combination that promised to be an imminent recipe for disaster. 

And dear reader, it did end up being so. There were some days where, as usual, I was able to hyperfocus on things, and then there were most days where even getting up to wash my face and open my computer was like wading through water. Now that my diagnosis has lifted the veil from my eyes, everything feels more emotional and heavier. It’s as if I finally understand why I did the things I did, but with nothing to help myself with. 

With the support of my therapist, community, and strong support system, I have now found strategies that are currently helping me. I’m also working on finding the best medication and pairing it with specific executive functioning coaching. At the core of it all, even though I will likely always forget things mid-conversation and struggle with time management, my brain is highly creative, thrives in high-intensity situations, and excels at thinking outside the box (for fellow ADHDers, the box doesn’t even exist). So, I believe it’s far more empowering to work with my brain than to keep trying to make it ‘normal.’

Here are some of these strategies: 

1) First and foremost, find a supportive community of like-minded individuals:

  • Connect with others who understand ADHD by joining support groups or online communities. Sharing experiences and strategies with others who have similar experiences can provide valuable insights, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. Making friendships with other neurodivergent women has genuinely brought the most healing and deepest sense of connection than I would’ve ever imagined. Some ways I’ve found these women have been through niche communities online, such as TikTok and Reddit.
  • Engaging with a supportive community can help reduce feelings of isolation, provide practical tips for managing ADHD symptoms, and offer a sense of community care and solidarity.

2) Develop a Structured Routine:

  • Establishing a consistent daily routine can provide a framework for managing time effectively and reducing procrastination. This includes setting specific times for waking up, meals, work/study sessions, exercise, and relaxation. When doing this, though, try to think of routines that work with your brain and not against it. For example, if immediately getting to your desktop after breakfast makes you dread work, then you might replace this with an activity that could re-energize you for work; such as taking a stroll outside, working out, coloring, etc.

3) Utilize Visual Aids and External Supports:

  • Given that ADHD brains often learn and perceive information better visually, leverage visual aids such as timers, alarms, calendars, and specialized apps to help stay organized and on track.
  • Use task-management apps (e.g., Todoist, Trello, Asana) to create visual to-do lists, set reminders, and prioritize tasks, making it easier to manage responsibilities and deadlines.

4) Implement Behavioral Strategies:

  • Break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and use strategies like the Pomodoro Technique (working for a set period followed by a short break) to maintain focus and productivity.
  • Practice mindfulness techniques or meditation to improve attention, reduce impulsivity, and enhance self-awareness. Mindfulness exercises can help adults with ADHD become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, which can lead to better self-regulation.

5) Harness the Power of Generative AI:

  • Explore how generative AI tools can assist in various aspects of managing ADHD symptoms. For instance, use AI-generated text to brainstorm ideas, outline tasks, or draft emails and documents, reducing the cognitive load associated with starting tasks from scratch.
  • Employ AI-driven productivity tools that can automate repetitive tasks, such as scheduling appointments, organizing files, or generating reminders, helping to streamline daily routines and free up mental bandwidth for more critical tasks.

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