Growing up, I felt different from the rest. I came from a small hometown in the New York suburban area. When I got to high school, I realized I didn’t want to continue playing sports like many had pursued, and I wasn’t bold enough to partake in theatre (the one true regret I have to this day). I had no true passion for anything other than exercising, spending time with friends and family, and excelling in academic work. I felt that I needed to fit in with the ‘norm,’ but deep down, I knew I didn’t necessarily enjoy doing what ‘everyone else’ was doing. Oftentimes when I came home from school, I put all my attention into academic work because I derived my entire self-worth from it. I also enjoyed singing Gaga songs in my room by myself, as it was my sweet escape from all my life worries and I resonated with a lot of her song lyrics. I had thought of partaking in the theatre world but was too worried to step out of my comfort zone and potentially be judged by others. Looking back, like I had mentioned, I absolutely regret not doing so.
As a therapist, I have the continual chance to see so many beautiful walks of life. I have found that these humans, unexpectedly, bring out hidden parts of myself that I didn’t know previously existed. Being a therapist has forced me to take a hard look at myself in the mirror and better understand who I am. Fortunately, this job allowed me to recognize how critical I had been of myself and how I limited myself from so many experiences as a result of this. If I had set less rigid rules for myself and allowed myself to make mistakes, I may have found other activities and talents I enjoyed other than excelling at school work. Going to New York University for graduate school was the best thing for me, as my education forced me to engage in deep self-introspection in order for me to do the work I do today. I also met wonderful people along the way who made me feel okay with being myself. This taught me that every human has their quirks, we don’t fit into perfect cookie- cutter boxes, and everyone is allowed to make mistakes.
Reflecting back on years prior, I know I would have never put my blogs out there while I was so concerned about what everyone else thought of me. I am now able to realize it is important to take some risks and a leap of faith to help you grow in life. To whoever is reading this, I hope you find comfort in my writing. I hope you choose to take the road of showing your unique self instead of ‘conforming to the norm.’ Your life may become that much better once you stop restricting yourself and caring about what others think of you. I don’t want you to experience the restrictions I did when I couldn’t be my true self to preserve a certain image. I want you to embrace and love your authentic self for exactly who you are…
So if you are contemplating stepping outside of the box and your inner critic is telling you to pull back, think of my story and let it be your guide… and – as sang in Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’: 🎶”Just love yourself and you’re set” 🎼 You’re on the right track and you were born to survive! I know easier sang/written than done, but you get the gist.
From your friendly NYC therapist,
Christie
