When the world around you is meshed with gray, who brings back a spark of color?
For me, it’s always been my closest friends. Through every chapter—whether we’re kids defending each other on the playground or adults trying to figure out our place in this world—my friendships have brought light to my darkest days. There’s something magical about the way time has come and gone, but the way we still show up for each other is unwavering. It’s the kind of connection that goes deeper than words, but I’ll do my best to explain.
Many of my happiest moments from childhood are wrapped up in the laughter I shared with my best friend, Sam, and our countless sleepovers endlessly rewatching Bride Wars joking over which one of us would marry our best friend’s brother (spoiler alert: neither of us) and fighting over who would marry Zac Efron (seriously, Zac, call me!). For more than 20 years, Sam and I have been inseparable, talking and/or seeing each other every day. But as we entered our mid-20s, life began pulling us in different directions, our schedules struggled to align, and I started to worry that our connection was fading.
In the midst of what turned out to be transient doubt and hopelessness, I learned our bond was unbreakable. I struggle with severe depressive episodes and have spent countless hours sitting on the floor with tears streaming down my face. Yet, with a simple phone call to Sam, she showed up. She sat there in the darkness with me so I would not face it alone until I smiled again.
One of the hardest lessons I learned in adulthood is that we have to put in the effort to stay connected. We are no longer sharing the hallways at school or riding to cheer practice together and our homes are not five minutes apart. There are many people I’ve grown apart from, but the laughter and joy we shared still live in my heart. Then, there are people like Sam, and my other two best friends Ashley and Bella, whose lives will always be intertwined with mine, no matter the distance or time apart. Through these friendships, I have learned that love is not about proximity or time spent together, it’s about being there for each other to celebrate the good times and lean on in the bad times.Through Sam, Ashley, and Bella, I have gathered the formula for friendships: support, love, and compassion, all wrapped up into an unbreakable bond that holds us together, no matter where life takes us.
To keep these friendships going and forge new ones in adulthood, I’ve learned the secret ingredient in my formula is kindness. Therefore, I make it a point to send a surprise check-in text to reassure my friends that I am here anytime they need someone to talk to. And I always send a thank you message after spending time together to let them know how much I value our friendship and the moments shared. Even if we do not see each other frequently, I always want my friends to know feel they are never alone.
To me, the meaning of friendship is quiet and unspoken, yet it’s felt in every gesture. It’s the phone call that comes when you need it most, the visit that reignites joy, or a simple message that shows “I am here.” My friends are my constant reminder that even through the darkest of times, in my mind and its great depression, I will always have someone to lean on. Because of our friendships, I truly believe I matter, I am worthy, and I never have to face the darkness alone.
